Yet empathy, the ability to walk in someone else’s place and truly feel what they experience, gives children a way to understand the world differently. That’s where RedRover comes in. This organization has invested in building a program that teaches empathy to third and fourth graders.

The Restricted Adventures of Raja, written by Nicole Forsyth and illustrated by Bryan Huff

Empathy Goes to The Dogs… and Cats

Let’s suppose we’re part of a class. The teacher tells us that we are trying The RedRover Reading Program today. Everybody becomes involved and you find out that our best friend has an amazing human-animal bond. He never told anyone about his relationship with his pet before because… who talks about feelings? You also discovered that the girl who lives down the street throws sticks at dogs. She never thought about it before, but now as you describe your own experience with Heidi, your pet Doberman, she starts to see that maybe the dog has feelings after all.

As the children get involved, critical questions cause them to look more deeply into their own lives. They draw on their own emotions and personal experiences to bring life to the story. They see that how they treat animals has an impact on others… and the learning environment become rich. This unique discussion about feelings and their pets sets the stage for change.

That’s when the magic happens. Why would our youth talk about anything so personal? They wouldn’t unless being prompted by a teacher or parent. Kids talking about their cats, dogs, or other animals (and how they make them feel) just doesn’t come up in normal conversation. But everyone has a perspective on animals. Having a conversation about animal behavior and emotions lets children practice some self-awareness and emotional recognition. Kids and teachers love it.

An e-Book Today… that Supports Tomorrow

The folks at RedRover have found that teachers are the best resource for the RedRover Readers Technique. About 750 teachers have taken classes online or in person.

RedRover has also taken extra steps to reach out to the community and created a mini version of the RedRover Reading Program. An e-Book called The Restricted Adventures of Raja is available through both the Android and iTunes stores. RedRover has slated the second e-Book to come out by the end of the year. Both are available in English and Spanish.

Through the e-Book, parents can get involved in the story. Or, the graphic novel offers kids a great device for learning and experience it on their own. Critical questions stop kids to make them think, “What would I do in this situation?”

The analysis provides a key element for third and fourth graders. Their brains have developed enough so that cognitive thinking skills can understand, and show, empathy. This helps us build a better tomorrow.

And, building a better tomorrow is what RedRover’s all about. Think what it would be like to prevent abuse, neglect, and cruelty to animals. If our children can put themselves in the other person’s shoes for a split second, then they are really unlikely to do something physically wrong toward that person.

We had a great time with Cathy Salit today, CEO of Performance of a Lifetime.  A powerful company with a  funny name.  As you can see from the photos, she engaged a whole class of psychology students by asking them to perform (and groan and stretch).  Their teacher wrote:

Hi Cathy,

    My students and I enjoyed your Webinar.

​They groaned with you, and wrote what they learned afterwards.

Play and performance is so radical, when people get it, it’s life transforming.

Great job.

Rafael​

Cathy spoke about her book, Performance Breakthrough:  A Radical Approach to Success at Work.  Based in a field called Performative Psychology founded by Lois Holzman, Fred Newman and Ken & Mary Gergen from the Taos Institute.  As Dr. Holzman said:  ”We collectively create our lives through performance (simultaneously who we are and who we are becoming).”  Salit has coined this The Becoming Principle.

There are five key fundamental elements of performance she covered.

1)  Choose to Grow.

(This is where we groaned.)  You have to make a choice to grow, because growing is hard work.

2)  Build Ensembles Everywhere

Their work is also based on Lev Vygotsky who coined the phrase ‘zone of proximal development’.  Basically, how we allow children to perform a head taller than they are.  We grow in groups, not alone.  This has been a criticism of positive psychology, that we are only focusing research on the individual.

Her practice, “Say ‘we’ when you would normally say ‘I’.”

3) Listen!:  The Revolutionary Way to Have a Conversation

Apparently, most people only listen 20% of the time.  This is the fundamental point of improvisation (the methodology of POAL’s work).  While we didn’t have time to do the ‘yes, and’ exercise I recommend you looking it up.  If we all really listened, how amazing would our conversations be?  A great Ted talk in this regards is Ken Robinson’s.

The practice?  Perform being curious.  Even if you’re not.

4) Create with Crap

“Option A is not available.  So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B.”  Sheryl Sandberg

This is my favorite section and comes out of the listening for ‘offers’.  In improv, an ‘offer’ isn’t always something you want.  How do you create with something you don’t want?  Cathy gave a good example of empathy when you get the crying person in your office after a performance review.

The practice?  She encouraged participants to make a poem from their ‘crap’.  Send your “Create with Crap” poem to stories@performanceofalifetime.com.

5)  Improvise Your Life

1. Say “Yes, and” (and mean it!)

Yes means you accept what your partner gives you, ‘and’ means you add to it.

2. Make the other person look good

If you don’t do this in improv the scene dies.  Same is true for making your boss look good.

3. Celebrate mistakes and failures

We learn by failing.  As Beckett said, “Fail fast.  Fail better.”

4. Follow the follower

If you are following each other then you can really build rather than try to dominate a ‘scene’ (or a meeting).

5. Delight in curveballs

Take what you weren’t expecting and run with it.  I wasn’t expecting tech glitches in the webinar but we rolled with them!

Wrap up:

Performance is all around us.  We don’t wake up in the morning with a script.  So take a risk.  Even if it is a small one in your workplace.  And write us back to tell us what you decided to do!  See below for more ways to stay in touch with Cathy.

And you can follow @CathySalit on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.  

We’ll be posting some of her questions to webinar participants in another blog post.

Listening is like driving.  Everyone thinks they are good at it.  But probably less than half of people really are.  That’s why I was interested by the research of Kate Muir.

Research into how emotions change over time has revealed that negative emotions tend to fade to a greater extent over time compared to positive emotions, an effect known as the fading affect bias.

Talking to others is an important way in which this process can be enhanced: frequent social disclosure of past emotional events can help dissipate negative emotions and maintain positive emotions.  The question is, how and why does talking help?

Kate described experimental research which demonstrates that the degree of responsiveness of the listener during social disclosure is pivotal in how the speaker feels afterwards. Further, merely responding to the speaker is not enough.  This research provides preliminary evidence that there are particular types of listener responses which are associated with the speaker feeling less negative about unpleasant events, and more positive about pleasant events.

She listed three factors that were key for good listening.  Here they are and what they mean:

Alignment

• Participants take turns at talk allowing speaker to tell story
• Smooth conversational flow
• Mutual understanding of story meaning

Emotional Support

• Listener takes role as troubles’ recipient
• Display understanding of speaker’s emotional state
• Express sympathetic concern

Encouraging Positive Focus

• Encourage speaker to build on positive aspects of negative events
• Develop positive interpretation of events
• And you need to demonstrate understanding when someone shares negative events:
• Anticipatory response uses same evaluative term as speaker
• Continuer is in the form of expression of sympathy, i.e. emotional support
• Listener tells related story (self-disclosure)
• More sympathy expressed as part of story assessment
• Story agrees with speaker’s assessment demonstrating understanding of meaning
• Acknowledgement of speaker’s negative feelings as valid emotional reaction
• Self disclosure engenders rapport and intimacy

The suggestions for sharing positive events mimics the research by Gable on Active Constructive Responding.  Fascinating…next time you talk to someone, you know what to do.

————–

Speaker Bio: Kate Muir is a Research Fellow in linguistics and social behaviour at the University of the West of England, Bristol. Kate’s current research focuses on the factors that influence linguistic accommodation, including differences in power roles and personality traits, and the social consequences of accommodation.

Kate’s other research interests include the influence of social interaction and individual differences upon subjective and objective aspects of autobiographical memories, including reported emotional intensity and memory narratives. In her spare time Kate teaches on the Psychology undergraduate degree for the Open University.

Kate completed her BSc (Hons) and PhD in Psychology at the University of Leeds in the UK. Her doctoral research concentrated on the roles of social disclosure and listener behaviour in the fading affect bias. This work demonstrated that listener behaviour is an important factor in emotional regulation processes which encourage negative emotions to fade and positive emotions to be retained in autobiographical memory, and has been recently published in the journal Memory. Kate lives near Bristol with her husband and young son.